For instance, back in the day when I was either more crazy or less crazy (it's hard to tell), I so badly wanted to be a TA for the Greek class at Northwestern that I composed a list of all the people the professor might pick for the job instead of me, and I gave reasons for why he should not pick any of those persons and should instead pick me.
His emailed response read as follows:
"Yes, your unbridled neuroticism and raving paranoia make it very clear that you are truly the SENSIBLE choice."
I will have you know that he did, in fact, pick me.
However, his description of my neuroticism as "unbridled" often tends to be more true than not.
It is for this reason that I do not belong in the academy.
It is for this reason that I want to instead do the following:
I want to live in a house that is accessed by means of a gravel road.
I want to hang my clothes on a clothesline and attend to the water level in the bird bath.
I want to become really, really good at folding sheets.
I want to cook things in a slow cooker.
I want to buy suet from a butcher and hang it from a tree branch.
I want to spend full weeks vigorously canning pickles and dilly beans.
I want to play gin rummy while drinking gin and rum.
I want to eat oatmeal for breakfast; I want to eat breakfast, period.
I want to keep the Sabbath.
I want to read a novel.
I want to make cookies and watch Love Actually and Titanic.
I want someone to care for me.
I want a backyard,
and I want to belong.
I want life to be the best thing ever.
The heart wants what it wants. At least, that's what I told myself when I just went and bought a diet mountain dew.
Best,
Sara
I will do all of these things with you except watch Love Actually and Titanic. Even hang suet, but I will not watch Love Actually or Titanic.
ReplyDeleteMove home and you can have it all except a house with access to a gravel road. I loved this post.
ReplyDeleteI would watch Love Actually with you. I just saw it on my housemate's bookshelf this afternoon and mused on how pathetic I must be to watch British movies just for the sake of seeing the doors, hearing the accents, and watching people drive on the left side of the street (which I mistakenly did myself this evening). I suppose wanting England is something I can't help.
ReplyDeleteMy graduate advisor won ASU professor of the year for 2010. She told me that she used to love cooking, but now she's so busy she has "closed the kitchen." Is that what it takes to become an internationally recognized psychologist? I got so scared that I went home and spent hours making apple butter. (Well, I did watch 4 episodes of 30 Rock while it cooked...)
ReplyDeleteIt's just like you (and Andrew) to make a ranked list. Sheesh...
ReplyDeleteWhen you figure out a way to fold fitted sheets, pass the trick along. Instead of folding them, I only buy what we need so I never have to fold them - just put them back on the bed after washing.
ReplyDeleteThat's MY trick.