Dear friends,

I have not been blogging lately because I had started to feel the pressure to write really elaborate, wonderful blogs, and that stressed me out so I just stopped. My last sort of real blog post was September 27th. I now have a gallon of milk in the fridge that expires December 3rd. That means a lot of time has passed, and so I will give you a brief snapshot of the 2 months in between.

Week after last blog post: Midterm break reading period. I sat in my pajamas for a week, reading Augustine's Confessions. Many days, I forgot to go outside. Tea. I also drank tea.

Weeks 1-3 after midterm break: I learned what it was like to be a student again because I finally had to start writing papers. Granted, I only had to write about 4 papers in those 3 weeks, but it was the first real work I finally had to do. During this time, life was better because I had less time to be existential. I spent late nights in the library and remembered what it was like to have paper-writing highs and not be able to sleep when you're finally done because you're so exhilarated from developing the flow of your rhetoric. These were good weeks. I also began feeling more socially adjusted. Then I finished my paper on John Cassian's reworking of Augustine's view of predestination and developed a cough.

Weeks 4-6 after midterm break: My body began eating itself and didn't stop for 3 weeks.

Week four: H1N1 (?) Regardless of what it was, I was slowly dying. I was also dog-sitting a 60-pound short-haired collie. So I was living alone in a strange home across town, slowly dying, and going on intermittent walks with a dog who hated me for not taking him to the dog park while I was dying.

Week five: "Sara's friends find out she's still sick and force her to go to the doctor."

Doctor: "You are slowly dying; you have walking pnemonia."

Week 6: "Even though she's on antibiotics and is supposed to be getting better, Sara develops chest pain, loses hearing in her right ear, and develops such a terrible sore throat that she begins spitting into her garbage to avoid swallowing. Make sure to tune in for the daily nervous breakdowns at 4 AM when she can't sleep because of the pain."

Week 7 is now. I've been better now for 2 or 3 days. I eat food again. I can think about things other than dying. Nonetheless, being sick for so long caused me to regress deeply back into the days of life being meaningless. And there doesn't seem to be much point in trying to recreate meaning until next semester because classes are done. All I'm doing now is that thing where I sit in the pajamas and pretend I'm studying, even though I'm really just watching desperate housewives. I fly home in 16 days, so I am just biding my time until then.

Gosh this is depressing. That's why I haven't been blogging. I reckon I should be thankful, being as Thanksgiving is tomorrow and all. I'm not going to tell you my plans (mostly because I don't have any), and the ones I do have are too depressing to talk about until they're in the past. In some neurotic way, I'm trying to plan the most depressing day possible because then it would be more fun to write about.

Well, that is all for now. This blog post isn't even worthy for me to hit "publish post," but hey, may as well.

Until the next time,

Sara