"They don't pass out free condoms at Christian colleges."

Dear friends,

Welcome to my divinity school blog. You'll notice that I cleverly switched "Pubs and Underground Libraries" to "Waffle Houses and Above Ground Libraries." How very clever of me.

So I am in Durham, North Carolina. It is hot here. Very, very hot. I spend all of the time I'm outside dwelling on this. Aside from the temperature, though, Durham is decent and Duke is great. I haven't gone around Durham too much, but it seems just like a normal, but not beautiful, city. As for Duke, though, the campus is absolutely gorgeous. It reminds me of Oxford everyday, but is much better because I actually like it here. I wish I could bring you all here and have you walk around with me so that you could see how wonderful it is each day. And although the campus is disastrously large, all of the places I need to be are right next to each other--the divinity school, the chapel, and the library. However, anytime I need to go somewhere else, I just look at a map and pant heavily in fear. And then I yearn for the smallness of Northwestern and Orange City.

So, I currently have 5 classes and 5 friends. I feel as though it is a huge accomplishment that I have 5 friends, considering that in Oxford I had no friends ever. I get the sense that I could, and maybe should, have more friends by now, but I don't much care. I am happy with whatever I can get. The 5 classes that I have are as follows:

-- Hebrew w/random doctoral student that randomly grew up in Sheldon, IA and went to seminary at Western. I haven't listened at all during class thus far. I'm that pretentious jerk who does her homework during class. However, I do this to prevent myself from being that pretentious jerk who answers questions because she already knows the answers.

-- Christian Spirituality w/Dr. Lauren Winner. I want to be her. I think everyone does. I bought all of her books and want to go sit in her office and have her teach me how to be a Christian and how to not do dumb things.

-- Intro to Old Testament Interpretation w/Dr. Stephen Chapman. He is super nice, but is still no Dr. Mead. I'm hoping that this might be the one class that might ignite some passion in me.

-- Early and Medieval Christianity w/Dr. J. Warren Smith. Thus far, a pretty BA class on church history. However, Dr. Smith is a crazy robot man who talks very fast and never says a word that is not important.

-- Greek reading w/random doctoral student who is super nice and competent. We are currently translating Sirach.

Thus far, I have noticed one very terrible thing about Duke. There are no biblical languages required here. At all. "What Sara? You don't have to take any languages at all to graduate?" "No, no I don't." You are strongly encouraged to take one of the languages your first year, but many of the people I have talked to are not doing so because they insist that they are "not language people." I think all of this is abysmal. And I didn't know that it would be this way until I arrived. Apparently, Greek and Hebrew are not required here because the Methodist Church doesn't require you to take languages in order to be ordained. Boo Methodists! My bestie, Blaine, who is at Denver Seminary, has to take 8 semesters of language within the 6 semesters that he'll be there. I wish I had that.

On a positive note, though, my academic advisor is Richard Hayes, B.A.M.F. He seems to be a delightful man. I'll meet with him individually before registering for my classes in the spring. The other day, I thought about this individual meaning, and I had that overwhelmingly anxious feeling sweep over me. I'm going to probably pass out on his office floor when I go to meet him. I'll tell you how it goes. He'll wake me up with pleasant smelling oils, and I'll murmer softly about listening to his Da Vinci Code debate with Bart Ehrman at least 30 times the summer I worked my hellish maintenance job. Then he will file my name away, and remember that he needs to write a stellar recommendation for me in the future.

Speaking of the future, I feel very confused and kind of purposeless right now. I mean, being in school has brought purpose back into my life, but I feel increasingly less sure about my decision to pursue doctoral studies. None of my classes are terribly interesting to me right now. I don't have that passionate feeling that I had my junior year, but haven't had since. I don't know what this means. And I should do nothing in the realm of ministry, so I might have no reason to be at seminary. This distresses me. It really does. I feel distressed.

Today I had a mandatory writing assessment with a tutor. She thought my essay was pretty and told me what I did well. Then she looked at me and said: "Are you okay?"
I said, "dangit, is it my face? I have very poignant facial expressions. That's just the way my face looks. I really am just fine."
She said: "Oh, you just look like you're going to cry."
I reiterated: "People ask me questions like that all the time; it's just the way my face looks."
Then I left doing that thing where you smile and mutter to yourself for at least a good 2 minutes about how awkward of an experience it was. Then, people see you and think you are even more crazy. Oh well, I only have 5 friends so at least no one knows me.

There are 2 more cool things you should know about Duke for now:

1. many people in the divinity school are very conscious about using gender-inclusive language and specifically, not using masculine pronouns for God. This is very good.

2. The toilets have green handles and 2 flushing options.
- Up for #1
- Down for #2

So cool.

Well this was a relatively uninteresting blog, but I will try to do better in the future. I am out of practice. Also, I am fairly content here, which provides less good material.

Needless to say, I do miss Northwestern, Orange City, and Iowa very much. I miss having theology and biblical studies classes that are not directed at turning me into a practitioner. Seminary is a weird beast.
I also miss the Hoek with all of my heart and wish I was there dearly. I also miss delicious, custom-made cheap coffee.

I would really like to try to be intentional with this blog, because I know that if I don't update, you will stop reading it. I hope to fall into a weekly routine.

For now, all the best, and I'd love to hear from you.

Sara