[This post goes out to all the socially unaware, yet overly confident douchebags out there.]
I am writing to tell you that you are socially unaware, and you need to work on this part of your personality.
I also need to tell you about something you should already know about. In fact, you would know about it if you weren't so socially inept. If you have been making small talk with me for 15 minutes, but I haven't been replying for 10 of those minutes, it would probably be best for you to stop making small talk, because the fact of the matter is that I have wanted to bash your face for the past 14 minutes. Socially unaware person, I don't understand why you can't pick up on the annoyed cues that I am sending you. You just keep happily talking about your cereal and the weather, and I just find that so unnecessary. I think you would too, socially unaware person, if you listened to yourself.
One more thing socially adept people [unlike yourself] pick up on is unwritten rules. Suffice it to say, unwritten rules are entirely more important than written rules. For instance, most people know that they should not talk to the people in their home when it is morning. This is a simple rule, really. If you see someone that lives in the same house as you, and that person has not left the house for the day yet, you are only allowed to avert your eyes and mumble, "good morning." That is ALL you are allowed to say. This rule still applies even if it is 11 AM. If the other person has not left the house yet, you are not allowed to talk to them unless their social cues indicate that conversation would be welcomed.
I hope to continue to have these lessons with you, socially inept person, because frankly, you are really bad at life.
Nonetheless, I hope you have a good day.
Best,
Sara
P.S. Next time we will be talking about the noises of affirmation you make while others are speaking. Such noises are completely unnecessary, but alas, another conversation for another day.
Is this like your "Dear Sara.....sincerely, life" facebook statuses? Is this letter to yourself? You are SO annyoing.
ReplyDeleteDouche, why would I write a derisive letter to myself? There is not one thing I like about you.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with your example of an unwritten rule.
ReplyDelete1) I see my husband very infrequently as we don't work at the same place. We NEED to talk in the mornings just for day-to-day acknowledgements of each other.
2) It's not unwritten, as you just wrote it.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with the part about lack of responses from someone during a conversation. I have so many times tried to indicate that I don't want to be part of a conversation by giving little to none responses.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I also agree with Holli. Not everyone is a afternoon/evening person. Some of us are morning people, like me. I can talk to someone in the morning because that's the where I peak or given the chance to make my day a good one.
My roommate does not like to be spoken to in the morning either, however she has indicated verbally to me that she does not want to be disturbed. After this talk, I have kept my mouth shut. It isn't an unwritten rule.
Sometimes I feel, Sara, that your common sense rules aren't so common. Interesting post nevertheless, as always.
You couldn't have Facebooked me instead?
ReplyDelete